"How to Set Boundaries and Say No" Article

We are constantly bombarded daily with requests for our time. While helping others can be very rewarding, at the same time we can feel distraught about constantly obligating ourselves to others while not fulfilling our own needs. We can feel distressed about constant commitments to do things we simply don’t have the time, energy or desire to do.

At times, we may immediately feel the urge to say no, but instead lose our courage, and concede yet again. The question is why? Is it because:

You fear you won’t be liked or feel a strong need to please everyone

You have to always keep the calendar full so you feel needed and important

You undervalue the need for down time and forget simply not wanting to do anything is a legitimate reason to say no

You would rather not deal with the consequences of saying no and all the feelings that come with it.

Setting boundaries and saying no is taking personal responsibility for your well-being. This requires you to clearly speak up, and specifically ask for what you want. Your decision to say no to requests from family, friends, and co-workers doesn’t have to be filled with feelings of uneasiness and guilt. It fact, it’s important you remember the decision to say no is strictly a personal choice – yours!

Whether at work, with family, or friends, you can say no with diplomacy, tact, and respect. Here some ways you can embrace your personal power and assert your right to say no.

Be sure you have all the facts

Before making a commitment, be sure you have a complete understanding of exactly what’s being asked of you. You may feel confused because you just don’t have enough information to make a decision. You have the right to ask as many questions as necessary.

Ask yourself “Is this a unreasonable request?”

When someone makes a request, he or she is usually tuned into “WIIFM” (What’s In It For Me). People are not necessarily concerned with whether or not a request is in your best interest. If you feel hesitant, trapped or otherwise uncomfortable – go with your gut and say no. These uneasy feelings probably indicate saying yes isn’t best.

Take Your Time

There is no law that says you have to immediately obligate yourself to someone when asked. Take your time before you make a final decision. Simply say “I need time to think about this. I’ll get back to you.”

Words to Live By – Six Ways to Breathe Life into Your Day

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Joy Fisher-Sykes is a author and professional speaker published in the areas of communication, time management, and teamwork. She works with business and government organizations who want to reach the next level of success and individuals who want to perform at their best. You can email her at jfsykes@thesykesgrp.com, call her at (757) 427-7032 or visit her Web site at www.thesykesgrp.com.