The Sykes Group's OnPoint

How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking in Seven Powerful Steps

Have you ever avoided a career or business opportunity because it required you to speak publicly? Did you ever have a great idea you wanted to share in a group setting but didn't because of your fear of speaking in front of a group of people?

You are not alone in the fear of public speaking. In my travels, I have seen where the fear of public speaking have kept otherwise very successful people in all walks of life from achieving their full potential. When you let this fear dominate your life, you lose out on promotions, business opportunities, community activities, and most of all self-confidence.

The following are seven powerful secrets to empowering you to overcome your fear of public speaking and achieving a new level of success in your career, your business, and your life:

1. Ask Yourself the Important Question
   Ask yourself, "Where does my fear come from and is it real?" Was there a public speaking opportunity in the past that you think didn't go well or that you felt was poorly prepared? Maybe you had to stand up in front of your classmates in high school or college and someone made what you perceived as a negative comment concerning your presentation. Maybe you gave a good speech but you started to over analyze every detail of the speech.
   
   First, realize that whatever happened did so at another time and place and you are no longer that person. With new experiences, you have grown into a more confident person with much to offer. Second, embrace feedback, extract the true areas of improvement from the feedback and work to improve your public speaking ability. Be honest and fair with yourself and determine if the feedback is coming from someone who is qualified to give quality feedback. I had one presentation skills student whose manager told her she was a poor speaker because she moved her hands and arms during the presentation. Was the manager giving qualified feedback? Doubtful. Yet, this manager's feedback affected this employee in a negative way for years until the employee became my coaching student.
   
   Again, separate qualified feedback from unqualified feedback and learn from it. Also, don't allow negative public speaking situations that happen in the past apply to your present or future public speaking opportunities.

2. Face Your Fear of Public Speaking
   The fastest way to overcome any fear, much less the fear of public speaking, is to face your fear and attack it. Look for and embrace opportunities to make presentations. Start with non-threatening opportunities such as your children's school meeting or a non-work related situation and work your way up to more important, high pressure situations such as work meetings.
   
   Realize that each time you speak is an opportunity to improve your speaking ability. Look at your public speaking skills as a muscle. The more you exercise your public speaking muscle, the stronger it becomes and you will improve your speaking abilities.
   
   Go into each public speaking opportunity with a clear set of goals. Maybe for your first speech, you may have a goal of eliminating "hums" and "ahs." For another speech you may have a goal of completing your speech with a powerful ending.

3. Visualize Your Public Speaking Success
   Invest time the night before you speak to visualize what a successful speech looks, sounds, and feels like and how you will feel while giving it. If you don't see it yourself, it won't happen. Most presentations can be dramatically improved just by investing time ahead of the presentation to visualize a successful outcome.

4. Master the Material
   Invest the time to know what you are presenting. Invest time to rehearse several variations of your speech. Rehearse your speech as if something goes wrong. What if your PowerPoint goes down, you forget a section in your speech, or someone heckles you? How will you react? If you know your material well enough, you will be able to overcome any presentation challenge.

5. Master Your Public Speaking Mind
   During a group coaching session, a presenter started speaking, made a mistake and promptly announced, "I hate speaking in public!" In this instance, she did not manage her public speaking mind, and let her fear of public speaking take over her performance.
   
   When you make negative statements concerning public speaking, it will reinforce your fear of public speaking. Take the time to replace negative statements with positive public speaking affirmations.

6. Take Time to Analyze Your Performance
   In most cases, we are our own toughest critics when speaking. Whenever you speak, videotape or audiotape your presentations, sit down, and honestly analyze your performance. Once you start to record your presentations, you will realize that some of the issues you were worried about aren't in your speech and you will instantly see areas of improvement and address them accordingly. As the old saying goes, "The video doesn't lie."
   
   Ask for feedback from people you respect and who can give you quality, supportive feedback that will empower you to want apply the feedback in your next speech. Before your speech, tell the person you ask to give you feedback what your public speaking goals are and what you are working to improve.
   
   Once you analyze your areas of improvement, immediately go out and exercise your public speaking muscle and apply the improvement.

7. Reward Yourself
   Reward yourself for any improvements in your public speaking skills. The reward is up to you, but make sure to immediately reward yourself.

Bonus Public Speaking Secret: If you forget a word or a phrase during your speech, never apologize and keep speaking as though nothing happened. Unless the audience has a detailed transcript of your speech, they won't know what you forgot. Don’t let the fear of forgetting something in your speech keep you from giving great speeches.

Now, go out and exercise your public speaking muscle to give outstanding presentations. When you apply the seven secrets to overcoming your fear of public speaking, you will realize more opportunities and gain a new level of confidence.

Are You Singing Your Song of Success? Five Secrets to Following Your Dreams and Achieving More Success in Your Life!

Recently, Susan Boyle, an unemployed forty-seven year old single woman from the small village of Blackburn, Scotland decided to compete in the television program, "Britain's Got Talent." She did not look like the typical "star quality" contestant. So, when she first walked out on the stage, the audience and judges started laughing and giving her cynical looks. Then she sang. The audience and judges were instantly won over and she continued to the next round of competition. Because the program was on television and the video of her program appeared on YouTube, she won over millions of additional fans with her unique talent. Whether she wins the competition or not, she already won by living her dream. By taking the bold step of competing, Susan won over millions while creating unlimited opportunities to sing her song of success.

So I ask you the following:

Are You Singing Your Song of Success?

Are you letting your song of success go silent? The following are five secrets that will guarantee that your song of success is heard and you can also live your dreams:

1. Create Powerful Goals to Be Successful
   Take the time to set clear, concise life and success goals that you can be excited about on a daily basis. Refer to your goals every day so that you can stay on course to achieve your dreams. Make your goals S-M-A-R-T-E-R: specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, time-based, encouraging, and rewarded.

To read the rest of the article and see Susan Boyle in action, go to Success

Ed Sykes Shares How You Can Increase Career Opportunities in this Challenging Economy

I was recently on the radio program, Career Mechanic with Dave Horne, sharing how you can create more career opportunities in a changing economy. To listen how you can use social marketing secrets to find the perfect job, go to the following: Career Opportunities

The Luck of the Irish Is Not Just For the Irish

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The term,"Luck of Irish," is not only for the Irish. Your luck can be created by the following:

Preparation + Opportunity = Luck

Here are five tips to creating ongoing luck each and every day:

1. Positive Attitude - Work to maintain your positive attitude everyday. Look at challenges as opportunities to develop your skills and prepare you for a future opportunities.

2. Knowledge - Take the time to learn, read, and ask questions. Embrace new methods and technologies.

3. Network - Develop your people skills so that you are comfortable in any social situation. Take a sincere interest in what other people are doing. Also, provide solutions to others so that you are regarded as the person in the know.

4. Tell Your Story - Let others know about accomplishments and skills. Be humble, yet be honest in what you achieved, the skills used to achieve them, and the outcome of the situation. If you don't talk about your achievements, who else will?

5. Embrace New Situations - Constantly look for new situations that are challenging and educational. While others will hesitate, be the person who is progressive and willing to tackle difficult situations. By tackling new projects, you will achieve a new confidence level.

Apply these simple techniques and you too will experience the "Luck of the Irish."

To learn how to create your own luck, go to Luck for more resources.

Ed Sykes Featured in New Technology Series on National Public Radio

Get motivated to learn how to use social networking tools Facebook and Twitter to maximize your career, your business, and your life opportunities Listen as I discuss on National Public Radio's program HearSay With Cathy Lewis on how to use Twitter and Facebook to create more success in life.

For additional resources, go to Twitter Success.

Major Snow Storm Hits Virginia Beach!

Major snowstorm hits Virginia Beach, VA...well not exactly.

The unpredictable happened! It finally snowed in Virginia Beach for the winter. It snowed on my daughter's school snow makeup day. This is the snow makeup day for the day it was predicted to snow, January 20th, but didn't.

You see, a light dusting of snow in our area equates to a major snowstorm elsewhere. Look hard and you can see the snow in the pictures. When it is predicted to snow, we closed down schools, delay military base openings, and practically close down our area. However, this snow had no effect on our area.

You never know...go figure.

Create a Great Day!

Has This Ever Happened During Your Conversations?

"It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood. Listen to all conversations in our world between nations as well as those between couples. They are for the most part dialogues of the deaf." - Paul Tournier-Swiss Psychiatrist

That happened yesterday. I did this at the gym yesterday. I was exercising at the gym when I ran into the gym director. I wanted to have a conversation with her for the longest time. The conversation went like this:

Ed: "Hey Taryn!"

Taryn: "Hello Ed!"

Ed: "How are you doing today?"

Ed: "I need to talk with you for a couple of minutes."

Taryn: "Sure Ed, I just need to check on my ride."

If you noticed, I didn't wait for Tayrn's answer to, "How are you doing today?," before going into my conversation and "my wants." How many times have you had this happen to you? How did it make you feel? Or maybe, you did this to someone else?

Great communication skills involve two-way communication that is respectful. My sure you are checking yourself during the conversation so that both parties have a mutually beneficial conversation. Two great resources to enhance your communication skills are the following:

Enhance Your Conversation

Bite Your Tongue! 10 Ways to Be an Effective Listener

Has this ever happened to you at work, home, or with friends? Share your story with us.

P.S.-I apologized to Taryn when I met with her and we had a very production conversation.

The Secret to Successful Goal Setting for Changing Times: Seven Steps to Achieving Your Dreams

Have you noticed that you've experienced much change over the past year, months, weeks, and even days? Your situation may have changed due to the challenges presented by these changing times, and you may ask yourself if you have achieved your goals of the past year. How do we go about starting our goal-setting activity with all of this change happening around us?

The following seven goal-setting steps will help you successfully implement your goal-setting and achieve your dreams in the future in these changing times:

1. Successful Goal Setting Requires Thinking About Your Goals
   You are told how to think and what to think about each and every day. From when we get up in the morning until we go to sleep at night, television, radio, personal computer, family, friends, managers, and colleagues tell us how to think, feel, and act.
   
   Invest time fifteen minutes to an hour to think. Turn off all the external distractions, go to a quiet place (home, park, etc.), and think about your goals and how you want to accomplish them. Think about how you will feel when accomplishing them.
   
   Your goal-setting thinking session should also include how you will benefit from these changing times. What special skills do you have or need to acquire to take advantage of these changing times?

Read the rest of your goal setting techniques at Goal Setting Success

What to Learn How the Internet Can Bring More Success to Your Business or Career?

What to learn how to use the internet to increase opportunities for you? Then listen to the Feb. 2nd National Public Radio program "HearSay with Cathy Lewis" as I share ideas on how you can use the internet to create opportunities for you. Here is the listening information:

Within Hampton Roads: 89.5 FM

Outside Hampton Roads or if you want to listen through your computer: http://www.whro.com/home/publicradio/whrv/localprogramming/hearsay/

If you enjoyed the program, please e-mail the station and let them know at info@whro.org

Happy Holidays from Ed and Joy!

Happy Holidays!

May the joys of the Season
lead the way
to a bright and prosperous
New Year

Best wishes from Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes