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Ten Powerful Presentation Skills Secrets to Outselling the Competition

Usually, you have one opportunity to present your organization's ideas, products, and/or services to the audience. You work on the account for months and the presentation is your big moment. You speak to an under enthusiastic, yet polite audience; they thank you for your presentation and say they will get back to you. Unfortunately, after the presentation you learn that they went with another vendor.

What Happened?

It amazes me how often we see presenters with only one opportunity to make a presentation to sell their products, services, or ideas who come nowhere near meeting the needs of their audience. It's almost as if the presenter is apologizing for making a presentation, and this prevents them from presenting well.

Why is it important for you to give a powerful presentation that sells you and your organization? You face more competition during these economic times, so you need to stand out so that the prospective “customer” chooses you as their provider. Your job as a presenter is to convince the decision-makers to choose your organization or act on the information shared during your presentation. The following are ten presentation skills secrets that will help you give a powerful presentation that will sell you to decision makers:

1. Research Audience Needs
   Invest time to find out what is important to the audience members so that you can meet their specific needs. Find out what challenges they face and how you can help them overcome these challenges. You will find out your audience members will appreciate your presentation more since you took the time to find out what is most important to them.

Read the rest of the story ...

How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking in Seven Powerful Steps

Have you ever avoided a career or business opportunity because it required you to speak publicly? Did you ever have a great idea you wanted to share in a group setting but didn't because of your fear of speaking in front of a group of people?

You are not alone in the fear of public speaking. In my travels, I have seen where the fear of public speaking have kept otherwise very successful people in all walks of life from achieving their full potential. When you let this fear dominate your life, you lose out on promotions, business opportunities, community activities, and most of all self-confidence.

The following are seven powerful secrets to empowering you to overcome your fear of public speaking and achieving a new level of success in your career, your business, and your life:

1. Ask Yourself the Important Question
   Ask yourself, "Where does my fear come from and is it real?" Was there a public speaking opportunity in the past that you think didn't go well or that you felt was poorly prepared? Maybe you had to stand up in front of your classmates in high school or college and someone made what you perceived as a negative comment concerning your presentation. Maybe you gave a good speech but you started to over analyze every detail of the speech.
   
   First, realize that whatever happened did so at another time and place and you are no longer that person. With new experiences, you have grown into a more confident person with much to offer. Second, embrace feedback, extract the true areas of improvement from the feedback and work to improve your public speaking ability. Be honest and fair with yourself and determine if the feedback is coming from someone who is qualified to give quality feedback. I had one presentation skills student whose manager told her she was a poor speaker because she moved her hands and arms during the presentation. Was the manager giving qualified feedback? Doubtful. Yet, this manager's feedback affected this employee in a negative way for years until the employee became my coaching student.
   
   Again, separate qualified feedback from unqualified feedback and learn from it. Also, don't allow negative public speaking situations that happen in the past apply to your present or future public speaking opportunities.

2. Face Your Fear of Public Speaking
   The fastest way to overcome any fear, much less the fear of public speaking, is to face your fear and attack it. Look for and embrace opportunities to make presentations. Start with non-threatening opportunities such as your children's school meeting or a non-work related situation and work your way up to more important, high pressure situations such as work meetings.
   
   Realize that each time you speak is an opportunity to improve your speaking ability. Look at your public speaking skills as a muscle. The more you exercise your public speaking muscle, the stronger it becomes and you will improve your speaking abilities.
   
   Go into each public speaking opportunity with a clear set of goals. Maybe for your first speech, you may have a goal of eliminating "hums" and "ahs." For another speech you may have a goal of completing your speech with a powerful ending.

3. Visualize Your Public Speaking Success
   Invest time the night before you speak to visualize what a successful speech looks, sounds, and feels like and how you will feel while giving it. If you don't see it yourself, it won't happen. Most presentations can be dramatically improved just by investing time ahead of the presentation to visualize a successful outcome.

4. Master the Material
   Invest the time to know what you are presenting. Invest time to rehearse several variations of your speech. Rehearse your speech as if something goes wrong. What if your PowerPoint goes down, you forget a section in your speech, or someone heckles you? How will you react? If you know your material well enough, you will be able to overcome any presentation challenge.

5. Master Your Public Speaking Mind
   During a group coaching session, a presenter started speaking, made a mistake and promptly announced, "I hate speaking in public!" In this instance, she did not manage her public speaking mind, and let her fear of public speaking take over her performance.
   
   When you make negative statements concerning public speaking, it will reinforce your fear of public speaking. Take the time to replace negative statements with positive public speaking affirmations.

6. Take Time to Analyze Your Performance
   In most cases, we are our own toughest critics when speaking. Whenever you speak, videotape or audiotape your presentations, sit down, and honestly analyze your performance. Once you start to record your presentations, you will realize that some of the issues you were worried about aren't in your speech and you will instantly see areas of improvement and address them accordingly. As the old saying goes, "The video doesn't lie."
   
   Ask for feedback from people you respect and who can give you quality, supportive feedback that will empower you to want apply the feedback in your next speech. Before your speech, tell the person you ask to give you feedback what your public speaking goals are and what you are working to improve.
   
   Once you analyze your areas of improvement, immediately go out and exercise your public speaking muscle and apply the improvement.

7. Reward Yourself
   Reward yourself for any improvements in your public speaking skills. The reward is up to you, but make sure to immediately reward yourself.

Bonus Public Speaking Secret: If you forget a word or a phrase during your speech, never apologize and keep speaking as though nothing happened. Unless the audience has a detailed transcript of your speech, they won't know what you forgot. Don’t let the fear of forgetting something in your speech keep you from giving great speeches.

Now, go out and exercise your public speaking muscle to give outstanding presentations. When you apply the seven secrets to overcoming your fear of public speaking, you will realize more opportunities and gain a new level of confidence.

Has This Ever Happened During Your Conversations?

"It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood. Listen to all conversations in our world between nations as well as those between couples. They are for the most part dialogues of the deaf." - Paul Tournier-Swiss Psychiatrist

That happened yesterday. I did this at the gym yesterday. I was exercising at the gym when I ran into the gym director. I wanted to have a conversation with her for the longest time. The conversation went like this:

Ed: "Hey Taryn!"

Taryn: "Hello Ed!"

Ed: "How are you doing today?"

Ed: "I need to talk with you for a couple of minutes."

Taryn: "Sure Ed, I just need to check on my ride."

If you noticed, I didn't wait for Tayrn's answer to, "How are you doing today?," before going into my conversation and "my wants." How many times have you had this happen to you? How did it make you feel? Or maybe, you did this to someone else?

Great communication skills involve two-way communication that is respectful. My sure you are checking yourself during the conversation so that both parties have a mutually beneficial conversation. Two great resources to enhance your communication skills are the following:

Enhance Your Conversation

Bite Your Tongue! 10 Ways to Be an Effective Listener

Has this ever happened to you at work, home, or with friends? Share your story with us.

P.S.-I apologized to Taryn when I met with her and we had a very production conversation.

How to Master Interview Questions and Think on Your Feet!

You may never be in front of Katie Curic of CBS News answering questions like Sarah Palin, but there will be opportunities in your life where you will be asked questions on the spot. How will you handle those situations? As you can see in the above video, Sarah Palin had a difficult time being clear and concise in her answers.

You may never find yourself on national television, but you may find yourself in a similar high pressure situation at work, in business, or in the community. Simply follow the below link for five techniques you can use to master impromptu speaking so that you can master your thinking on your feet skills:

Thinking on Your Feet

Public Speaking Skills Prepare You for Future Opportunities!

Recently, during my presentation skills workshops or public speaking coaching session, I was asked the following question:

Mr. Sykes, who do you think is the better public speaker, Barack Obama or John McCain?

First, I always start by saying "Taking the politics out of it (I am asking the same of those who are reading this post), it's Barack Obama."

It's because Senator Obama exhibits the following traits of a great speaker:

• He is comfortable speaking in front on two or several thousand people.

• He is in control of the stage all the time.

• He is a master of vocal variety, inflection, tonality, and also a lost art ... the pause.

• He makes the audience feel he is personally talking to each member of the crowd.

• He is able to communicate a vision that others want to buy into.

• He, from a leadership standpoint, moves people to action with his speaking style.

John McCain is the master of the town hall presentation. He feels comfortable with small, intimate gatherings where he is quite engaging. However, when he is giving a speech, it is summed up by a recent Newsday.com (by way of Politico.com's Jonathan Martin) article:

"Why McCain should be so bad at giving speeches is fairly mystifying since he is actually a very good conversationalist, clearly at ease with reporters and the countless voters he's appeared before at town-hall meetings."

I mention the above quote because I hear many times from students, "Speaking one-on-one I'm fine, but when I am in front of an audience, I just freeze or fall apart." Senator McCain is not the only person who finds public speaking a challenge. It is a very common challenge that many people have when it comes to public speaking.

Well, it's important to understand that developing outstanding public speaking skills prepares you for opportunities on a future "big stage." You may never know what these opportunities are today, but they are coming in the future. Why not prepare for them?

If you want to start your journey to overcoming public speaking fear and start your journey to giving outstanding presentations, read this interesting article at Overcome Fear.

Maybe some day you will be able to become President ... of your company, association, business, or even the country.

Coming to 0rder: Five Public Speaking Lessons Learned from Judge Judy

If you have watched T.V. lately, you’ve probably noticed a growing popular genre - reality courtroom shows. These shows are centered on litigants bringing small-claims court cases in a televised forum. Some of the cases can get pretty racy and you might think there is little you can gain unless you plan to go to court yourself. What if I told you that watching Judge Judy can not only expand your understanding of the law, but teach you how to make better presentations? The following are five public speaking lessons you can learn from following courtroom protocol and procedures:

Lesson 1 – Concentrate on I and Why
Every plaintiff, before proceeding into a courtroom, needs to be able to answer one simple question, “Why am I here?”

The same is true in public speaking. When you give a speech, you need to focus not only on the “I” but the “why” of the program. You need to know the purpose for your speech and clearly be able to answer:

Why is this talk important?
Why should the audience listen to me?
Why should the audience put my talk into action?

When you choose to focus on the “I” as well as the “why” of your presentation, you are more likely to connect with your audience and increase the overall value and effectiveness of your speech.

Lesson 2 – Dress for Success
Imagine walking into a courtroom and attorneys are dressed in pajama pants, a polo shirt, and worn fuzzy slippers? What about drooping pants and a top with a plunging neckline and bulging cleavage? You may laugh at the thought, but odd and outlandish attire choices seem to be more of the norm for many who are not court officers. Why is this so important?

One universal truth we know to be true is that people are strongly influenced by visual cues. Your attire can accentuate or detract from your message. How? In thirty seconds or less, the audience will assess your look and decide whether or not you “appear” worth listening to. Choose to make a strong impression as you increase your credibility quotient; always choose polished and professional apparel.

Lesson 3 – Get to the point
The calendar of any court judge is full daily with no time to waste. Time is a precious commodity. If you waste the time you’re given, you risk being cut off by the judge and left wondering how you lost your case.

When you address an audience, it’s important to remember that their time is precious. Waste time and the audience will choose to tune you out and you will lose their attention and the ability to make your points. Plan, prepare, and practice your speech with information that is relevant, interesting, and concise.

Lesson 4 – Make Eye Contact
The eyes have it - truth is in the eyes. “Don’t look up there or look over there; look at me!” is a common admonishment you’ll often hear the popular Judge Judy often extol. Eye contact is the connection that helps judges and audiences alike to connect with the speaker. Audiences are more likely to believe what you say when you are able to look them in the eye without wavering. Make eye contact with your audience often and watch your credibility and connection with your audience go up!

Lesson 5 – Speak Up
Mumbling in court is not optional. Fail to speak up in court and you risk others speaking over you and drowning out your opportunity to make your case. What good is testimony if the judge, court reporter, attorneys, litigants, jury and court observers can’t hear it? When you make a presentation, ensure that the eloquence of your message isn’t lost. Use your voice and be sure to maintain an appropriate volume for the venue in which you speak. Speaking to a conference room full of your peers will require a different need that giving a keynote given at an industry conference. Make the choice - choose to speak up.

Apply these five public speaking secrets and you will always give outstanding presentations and be in control of any room.

International Make a Point Day! (Five Public Speaking Secrets for Getting Your Point Across)

Have you ever been in a meeting where the presentation when on and on. Have you ever asked yourself, "What's the point to this presentation?"

Here are five public speaking secrets that will keep your message on point:

1. Start with an End in Mind
   Ask yourself, "Why am I speaking?" "What do I want the audience to do after listening to my speech?" This will help you focus on the message you want to share with your audience. It will help you focus on who is your audience, the key points, and what you want your audience to do after listening to you.

2. Keep It Simple
   Keep your presentation simple by learning to "speak to express instead of speaking to impress." What I mean by speaking to impress is when you see speakers using $5 words for $2 situations during speeches and they look uncomfortable doing it. Another example of this is when presenters overuse PowerPoint. Your audience will soon lose interest in what you are saying. Also keep it simple with the structure of your speech. An opening, body with three major points, and a closing will help you connect with your audience. Just be sincere, concise, and simple in your presentation and you will always connect with your audience.

3. Make an Outline
   Create an outline of your speech. Depending on your own individual thought process, you may want to mind map, a freestyle way of putting ideas together, or outline. Outline your beginning, body with three points, and ending.

4. Start and End Strong
   Concentrate on knowing the beginning and ending of your presentation. Feel confident in giving the beginning of your presentation, and you will become more comfortable giving the rest of your speech. End on a strong note because your speech ending will be the last thing your audience will remember about your presentation.

5. Stay Within the Time
   Many times when you are given an award during a meeting, conference, etc., you are also under time restrictions. In most cases, you will have longer than thirty seconds. Take the time to ask the person in charge of the meeting how much time you have for your speech. Also, make it a habit to look at the agenda ahead of time to see how much time you have been allotted. It may be only three minutes, 10 minutes, or 30 minutes, but find out ahead of time. By finding out ahead of time and staying within the time given to you, you show respect to your audience, the people in charge of the meeting, and most of all yourself. Once you go over the time allotted, you can see the audience members start looking at their watches and stop listening to your important speech.

Follow these five presentation secrets for staying on point and your presentations will have more impact and will create new business, career, public speaking, and life opportunities for you.

Martin Luther King Jr. Motivating Millions with the "I Have a Dream" Speech

January 21st is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in the United States. His "I Have a Dream" speech motivated millions to dream and take action to make the United States a better place.

Many of my presentation coaching students think that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave that speech for the first time on the Washington Mall. My students are surprised to learn that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been practicing by giving different variations of that speech for over a year. He consistently made changes until the speech became the masterpiece that changed the world.

Great presentations start with great preparation! Enjoy!

Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day: Take Time to Appreciate to Motivate Your Employees!

Today is Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day! First, let me say, you should as a motivator always "invest" in the time to appreciate and motivate your team. I use the word "invest" because it is an investment in the overall performance and success of your team. By taking the time to show appreciation for a job well done, you motivate your team to go to the next level of success. Sam Walton said the following:

"Outstanding leaders go out of the way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish."

I challenge you to always find the time to appreciate to motivate your employees in a timely and meaningful manner. The following link will provide you with vast motivation resources to help you start today:

Employee Motivation and Appreciation Resources

October 1-5 is Customer Service Week.

October 1-5 is Customer Service Week. In an environment that so few organizations do it well, I would like to recognize an organization that understands what great customer service is, and more importantly, applies it each and every time. The name of that organization is the supermarket chain, Harris Teeter.

The following are twelve reasons why I enjoy my customer experiences when shopping at Harris Teeter and don't mind paying a little extra for the food I buy:

1. Harris Teeter provides consistently great service no matter what store you shop.

2. Harris Teeter employees have smiles on their faces each and every time.

3. Harris Teeter employees give eye contact when interacting with customers.

4. Every Harris Teeter cashier will ask you "did you find everything you needed" and wait for the answer and provide a solution if you didn't before proceeding to ring you up.

5. Every Harris Teeter employee shows a "we're here to serve you" attitude.

6. Every Harris Teeter employee shows a "we will be more than glad to find it for you" attitude.

7. Every Harris Teeter store has a clean and inviting environment.

8. Every Harris Teeter makes checkout easy and fast even during rush hour.

9. Harris Teeter is focused on hiring service oriented employees.

10. All Harris Teeter employees are trained to understand and show great customer service.

11. Harris Teeter employees explain each time at end of check out how much you saved by shopping at Harris Teeter.

12. Harris Teeter employees always say "thank you for shopping at Harris Teeter."

Harris Teeter understands that the customer is willing to go out their way and pay more if the customer is given great customer service and feels appreciated. Whenever I go to Harris Teeter, it is a "shopping event." Thus, for Harris Teeter, it increases their bottom line. Hooray for Harris Teeter! They understand the right way to run a business.

Employee Motivation, Don Imus, and: Team Building: Five Secrets to Creating Successful, Motivated Teams

Don Imus, a shock jock (someone who shocks their listening audience by saying outrageous statements), was fired from his jobs on WCBS radio and MSNBC television for crossing the line of decency and making racist and sexist remarks regarding the Rutgers University women's basketball team. From a team building and employee motivational point of view, there are tidbits of motivational wisdom to be learned from this situation.

First, let me ask you, how many "Don Imuses" do you have in your organization, your team, or your department? You know what I mean, the employees, whether they are women or male employees, who continuously cross the line when it comes to behavior; perhaps being overbearing or the bully at work. They make insensitive comments without respect for other people's feelings, and then say the following when you discuss their conduct:

Yet, they proceed to exhibit this inappropriate behavior. Because of this "Don Imus" behavior, productivity decreases, employees are less motivated, transfers and personnel issues increase, and soon you stop accomplishing your goals. Bottom line is that these kinds of people can tear apart your organization and team with their words or behavior.

The following are five secrets to handling the "Don Imuses" on your team so that you keep employee motivation high, build a strong, self-directed team, and achieve a higher level of organizational success:

1. Live Your Mission - When you continuously communicate and act upon the organization's mission, values, and goals, your employees will be motivated to live the mission and maintain a high standard of behavior and productivity. This communication must start at the top and be communicated and acted upon at every level at every opportunity.
   
   One of your organization's top values should be--respect. When you allow an employee to disrespect other team members through words or actions, you are not living your organization's mission, which will lead to organizational and team turmoil, productivity issues, and possible harassment issues.
   
   We know when working with top organizations, the more organizational values are communicated and reinforced, the more success the organization will achieve. This creates a motivated work environment and rewards employees based on the mission.

2. Be Consistent - Whenever you observe this bad behavior, you must address it each and every time. Many times I will hear managers say, "Well, they just said it once" or "It will go away eventually." Well, it doesn't go away. By not addressing this inappropriate conduct each and every time, you enable or empower the individual expressing this behavior. Your "Don Imus" person is thinking, "Well, no one said anything, so it must be acceptable," or "If I can get away with this, then let me overstep the boundaries even further." All the while the other employees, who are conducting themselves in a positive manner, are less motivated to produce. They will retreat to a safe environment where they won't need to communicate with this person and communication fundamental to a successful work environment ceases.
   
   Be consistent each and every time! Have the courage to conduct a private coaching session with the "Don Imus" personality and explain what is acceptable communication and behavior each and every time. Explain in detail what the reward for good employee behavior is and the penalty for continued bad employee behavior.

3. Remember That Words Hurt - "Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" is the phrase many of us heard growing up. Well, words do hurt. The best advertising copywriters, political experts, speech writers, and screen writers are paid millions of dollars to create emotions with words so that we are persuaded to act in certain and various ways.
   
   Realize that once we say something that is hurtful or can alienate our fellow employees, we can never take it back. Or, as the old expression goes, "It's hard to get the horses back in the barn once the door is opened."
   
   

   We should all be careful with the words we use. You might ask yourself the following:

   Is my language positive or motivating toward my fellow employees?
   Am I showing respect toward my team members with the words I use?
   Do the jokes I use uplift or motivate or tear down and de-motivate my team members?
   
   
   Note: Always use honest communication that respects the recipient of your message. When you are "frank" (Let me be frank with you...), this means you are giving an opinion at the expense of the person receiving your "frankness." Let's leave "frank" out of our conversation and be more honest and respectful.

4. Motivate Towards Good Behavior - Always encourage positive, motivating behavior and recognize good behavior whenever you can. Recognize the person(s) exhibiting positive behavior in team meetings, a memo, or letter from the vice president, etc.
   
   Most of all, your employees will emulate the behavior you show. Always be on your best motivating, respectful, and positive behavior. When it comes to behavior as a manager, you receive what you send out.

5. Be Prepared to Take Corrective Action - If you have a meeting and/or coaching with the employees that are exhibiting the "Don Imus" behavior and they choose to continue with their inappropriate behavior, it's time to take action. Make sure that you, as the supervisor or manager, document, document, and document all discussions relating to this unacceptable behavior. Confer with human resources to receive expert advice on the next steps in the corrective action procedure. Remember, you are never alone when dealing with this kind of employee. Then start implementing the corrective action and follow-up to ensure there is a positive change in behavior. Be timely in your follow-ups so that there is no lapse in time between the next situation of unacceptable behavior and the next level of corrective action. Also, immediately motivate and reinforce positive behavior changes.
   
   Remember, if you show you are quick to take action for unacceptable behavior, this sends a message to your team members that you respect them as employees, individuals, and team members; and they will be far more motivated because of your actions.

Apply the above five employee motivational secrets and eliminate the "Don Imus" personalities from your team, and you will create a motivated workplace that achieves team and organizational goals.

Appreciate to Motivate Your Employees!

Today is Employee Appreciation Day!

Take time today to show your employees how much you appreciate their efforts. It could be as simple as saying "thank you." The following resource will give you the techniques to appreciating your employees so that they become more motivated and become more productive:

Appreciate to Motivate

Presentation Skills: Seven Presentation Secrets Learned from the Academy Awards

Academy Awards come and go, but one thing is a constant: bad acceptance speeches. You may never win an Academy Award, but you may be asked to give an acceptance speech for an accomplishment in your business, your career, your community, or your organization. Sometimes your acceptance speech will be for what you accomplished, or for what your team has accomplished.

The following are seven presentation secrets to giving an outstanding acceptance speech in any situation:

1. Prepare For the Moment- You may have heard the Oscar winners say, "I really didn't think I would win," or "I really didn't think I would be standing here tonight," and then give an acceptance speech like they didn't think they would win. Well, my question is, "Why did you think you were invited to this gala event?"
   
   Most likely, you will know ahead of time that you will be possibly winning an award, so take the time to prepare your presentation. Practice your speech using a tape recorder or, better yet, a video camcorder. Also, if you can, give a dress rehearsal of your speech in front of friends, family, or colleagues.

2. Agree Who Will Give the Speech- Time and time during the Academy Awards Ceremony, the first person to the microphone will speak for the full thirty second time limit and not allow the other winners in the group (many seen clutching their own acceptance speech notes) the opportunity to give their acceptance speeches. Where this moment should be one of the happiest moments in their lives, you can see the disappointment on the faces of the winners who didn't have the opportunity to speak.
   
   When you are working as a team on a project and are receiving an award, agree in advance who the acceptance speaker will be. This might be the team leader, the manager, vice president, etc., but work this out before giving the speech.
   
   If you decide on one person to give the speech, then you need to decide on who will be recognized during the time this person gives the presentation. Also, when speaking for the group, make sure the "I's" are changed to "We's." For example, when speaking for the group say, "We would like to acknowledge the following people..." instead of saying, "I would like to acknowledge the following people..." Remember, the designated speaker is representing the group.
   
   If decision is to have several team members speak, achieve consensus on how much time each person will have to speak so that each person has an equal opportunity to express appreciation.

3. Use Notes to Enhance Your Presentation- At the Academy Awards Ceremony, one person read his entire speech from his notes, not once looking at the audience. What he had to say was very heartfelt and sincere; however, his sincerity didn't translate to the audience because his notes were in the way.

   When giving an acceptance speech, use notes as a tool to enhance your presentation and not as a crutch. Only use notes for remembering the opening sentence, important names to thanks, or whatever facts you need to mention. Don't have the entire speech on notes.

   The following are some quick tips for working with notes:

   • Practice with your notes so that your speech is natural.
   • Type your notes. In the heat of the moment and sometimes bad lighting, our eyesight can become a little challenged. Type your notes in 16-18 point fonts.
   • Double space your sentences so that you can easily read your notes.
   • Type only on the top half of a full page so that you are less likely to lose your place after looking up at the audience.
   • Look up at the audience after every two or three sentences to maintain rapport with the audience.
   • Number your notes in case they fall and become scrambled so that you can quickly recover.
   • Practice a smooth transition for pulling your notes out of your pocket or portfolio.
   • Don't flip your notes because the flipping noise will cause a distraction for your audience. Practice sliding your notes.

4. Share the Wealth- How many times have we seen at the Academy Awards ceremony where some persons went on about how they personally achieved the reward or, worst yet, forgot to acknowledge the most important person for whom they would not have achieved the award (Remember Hillary Swank not remembering to thank her husband?).

   Take the time to give appreciation to the organization giving you the award and to those who helped you achieve the award. No person is an island. You achieved the goal through the help of someone(s), so acknowledge and appreciate them. To save time, if it is a few people, acknowledge them by name. If it is a large group of people, department, or organization, mention the group by name. For example, you might say, "I would like to acknowledge the people in marketing for their hard work on the Peterson project for making this moment happen. If it were not for their time and effort, we would not have won the XYZ account. Thank you."

   Also, only thank the necessary people during your acceptance speech. Don't thank Guttenberg for inviting the printing press if he has nothing to do with why you accomplished your achievement. Stay focused on only those people who had a direct effect on your achievement.

5. Let Sincerity Flow Through Your Speech- Let your appreciations come from the heart. Briefly convey your own feelings regarding your appreciation of the award and all that it represents. Be honest and don't over exaggerate your feelings while accepting the award.

   Be clear and concise in your showing of appreciation because you will most likely be under time constraints.

6. Value the Award- Many times during the Academy Awards Ceremony, you will hear the winner of an award say, "I really don't deserve this award," or "I really shouldn't be standing here." When you make statements like that, you devalue the award and recognition given to you. Also you question the judgment of the people who chose you to accept the award. Simply acknowledge their judgment and recognition and continue your speech.

7. Stay Within the Time- At the Academy Awards, the Oscar winners have thirty seconds before the band starts playing the "wrap it up" music. In many cases, the winner attempts to speak over the music. Between the band and the Oscar recipient, who do you think wins? Of course, it is the band. As soon as the band starts playing the music, the audience stops listening to the recipient.

   Many times when you are given an award during a meeting, conference, etc., you are also under time restrictions. In most cases, you will have longer than thirty seconds. Take the time to ask the person in charge of the meeting how much time you have for your speech. Also, make it a habit to look at the agenda ahead of time to see how much time you have been allotted. It may be only three minutes, 10 minutes, or 30 minutes, but find out ahead of time. By finding out ahead of time and staying within the time given to you, you show respect to your audience, the people in charge of the meeting, and most of all yourself. Once you go over the time allotted, you can see the audience members start looking at their watches and stop listening to your important speech.

   Note: If you can't find out ahead of time how much time you have to make your speech, assume you have very limited time and keep you comments brief.

Take the time to apply these seven acceptance speech secrets and you will give an outstanding presentation each and every time you receive an award.

How to Prepare an Outstanding Presentation in Thirty Minutes (Seven Secrets to Giving the Impromptu Speech)

Uh, oh, I need to give a presentation in thirty minutes! I think I would rather have a root canal instead.

It's 2 p.m. and your manager walks up to you with that look on his face. He announces that the company president wants you to give a presentation to him concerning the high profile project you have been working on...and he wants the presentation to start in thirty minutes. Now you have a look on your face as if you had just seen a ghost.

No problem. The following are seven secrets to preparing an outstanding presentation when you have less than thirty minutes:

1. You Don't Need the Perfect Presentation
   Get started! Don't freeze expecting perfection. When you think you need to be perfect, this can lead to paralysis. Management realizes, because of the short time period, that you will not be perfect. The key is to work quickly, not frantically.

2. Start With an End in Mind
   Ask yourself, "What do I want to accomplish with my presentation?" Do you want to persuade, entertain, or move the audience to action? Once you have these answers, work to develop your presentation to achieve these goals.

3. It's About the Audience
   Ask the following questions:
   
   
   • "Who is my audience?
   • "What does the audience want?"
   • "What does the audience want to gain from the speech?"
   • "What is the level of expertise of the audience members?"
   
   Once you have the answers to these questions, you can tailor your speech to meet the audience's needs.

4. Keep It Simple
   Don't be overwhelmed with information overhaul. Keep your presentation clear and concise by focusing on three main points. This will save you time when collecting your backup information.

5. Make an Outline
   Create an outline of your speech. Depending on your own individual thought process, you may want to mind map, a freestyle way of putting ideas together, or outline. Outline your beginning, body with three points, and ending.

6. Start and End Strong
   Concentrate on knowing the beginning and ending of your presentation. Feel confident in giving the beginning of your presentation, and you will become more comfortable giving the rest of your speech. End on a strong note because your speech ending will be the last thing your audience will remember about your presentation.

7. Your Presentation Starts in the Mind
   Find five minutes before your presentation; go to a quiet place, if possible; and meditate. Think about the positive results of your presentation. Visualize your giving an outstanding presentation and how well the audience is receiving your speech. Also find a mirror; hopefully, in a private area; and look into the mirror and say any of the following affirmations:
   
   
   • "This presentation is a great opportunity for me."
   • "Every opportunity to speak is an opportunity for success."
   • "I am a great speaker."
   • "The audience will enjoy my presentation."
   • "I have something of valuable to share with the audience."
   • "I appreciate this opportunity to make a presentation."
   
   Note: Your affirmations become more powerful when you keep them short and keep them in the present state (Future state example: I will become a better speaker.).

Now that you have read these secrets, you have twenty-five minutes left. Remember, the speech will not break your career. However, being able to rise to the occasion and give an outstanding presentation can enhance your career, business, and life opportunities. Apply these seven secrets and you, too, will give an outstanding presentation in less than thirty minutes.

Speak for Success!

Today is National Speak Up and Succeed Day! Great communication skills will set you apart from the competition and new opportunities will open up for you. Read the following article to find out how you can speak up and succeed:

"Career Advice: Three Secrets to Telling Your Story for Career and Job Success"

What is the Secret to Having a Great Conversation?

Watch as Joy shares the secret to a great conversation.

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Career Advice: Three Secrets to Telling Your Story for Career and Job Success

When was the last time you received a job promotion? You are doing a great job at work but everyone else seems to get the promotion you want. You may even start making excuses as to why you are not getting the career promotions you deserve. Well, I ask you the following question:

The following career advice story will show you how to put your career on the fast track:

Recently, I was facilitating an oceanfront retreat for over two hundred employees of a university. During this session, I had the participants think of something or somebody they appreciate. I then asked for volunteers to share with the group whom or what they appreciate and why this is important to them.

Lonnie volunteered and stood up in front of the group to share his thoughts of appreciation. Lonnie explained that in his job he helps children improve their lives. He mentioned that whatever the lowest pay and title scale was, he was at that level. However, he said that was all right because of the joy he received from helping the children. You could hear and sense the passion in his words as he shared his experiences with the audience.

About a month later, Lonnie was in another workshop I was facilitating, and he asked to speak with me before the start of the session. I could see the excitement in his eyes as he explained what had happened to him since the oceanfront retreat. One week after sharing his story at the retreat, he received a call from the Office of Academic Affairs. Someone of influence, who was impressed with Lonnie's speech and the way he told his story that day, wanted Lonnie to come in for a job interview. Lonnie went to the interview and received the job of Assistant to the Dean of Academic Affairs, with a substantial increase in pay and title. That was a career quantum leap from just a couple of weeks earlier.

Lonnie told his story for career success. Like so many of you, you are toiling away in your careers everyday and making a difference for your organization. But if no one knows about your successes, your passions, and your ideas, you will not achieve job and career success.

The following are three secrets to putting you on the fast track to career and job advancement:

1. It's Not What You Know... - I'm sure you have heard the old saying, "It's not what you know, it's who you know," when talking about getting ahead in life. Well, in this new age of information and self responsibility, I am declaring that this saying is dead. Instead, I always say the following:
   
   

   "It's not what you know. It's not who you know. It's who knows what you know that creates success for you."

   
   There are people doing a great job everyday. There are people everyday that know people of influence. Yet, unless these people of influence know what you know (your skills, your knowledge, your ideas), you won't be put in a position for success. Lonnie, during his two-minute presentation, let people of influence know that he was passionate about helping children at his job and he was willing to do it for little compensation. That's a powerful message. It moved people to help him and make him a part of their team.

2. Prepare Yourself for Powerful Story Telling - When the opportunity comes to tell your story, will you be prepared? Lonnie was prepared and made the most of his opportunity. However, I have seen many opportunities vanish for a person to tell his/her story because of the fear of speaking in front of a group or in a meeting. Whether it's in a job interview, monthly meeting, or at a conference, have the confidence to tell your story. You may never get another opportunity to do so. Have the courage to work on your presentation skills. There are various resources for improving your presentation skills. You can take a class, join Toastmasters, or hire a presentation skills coach.
   
   Also, outline what you will tell in your story. Think of your successes and how you achieved those successes. Thinks of the challenges you faced and how you overcame them. Express the joy you felt while achieving your goals. Relate how your activities helped you develop your skills, your creativity, and your determination. Let your passion show in your story.

3. Create Opportunities to Tell Your Story - When Lonnie volunteered, he created an opportunity to tell his story. How can you create opportunities to tell your story? You can volunteer for job-related assignments and give reports during management briefings. You can be active in workshops or seminars and tell your story among a variety of people that normally might not be exposed to your story. Join various associations and groups and tell your story. This is a great way to network among people who are active in their industries. Contribute your story to your in-house publication, local newspaper, or magazine. Create a blog or website and tell your story. The more you tell your story to a wide variety of people, the greater the opportunity to increase your success.

Apply these powerful career advice secrets and put your career advancement on the fast track. Tell your story and others will sit up and take notice.

May I Have Your Attention, Please? Five Ways to Retain Focus and Stay in the Moment

Today many of us frequently feel stuck in overdrive - days crammed with too much to do mixed with an unhealthy dose of frequent distractions, all vying for our attention at the same time. This can cause our minds to be constantly racing which, in turn, can make focusing our attention seem like an impossible task. Is it any wonder we find it difficult to pay attention for more than ten seconds at a time without a sense of dread that we might miss something?

When our attention is spread too thin, we run the risk of putting our relationships in peril. Once others believe you have willingly disregarded their presence, whether intentional or not, your inattentiveness can foster ill-feelings including anger, annoyance or resentment. Whether you find it difficult to remain attentive with customers, peers, family or yourself, the ability to remain connected without daydreaming is possible. So how do you stay present and in the moment? The following are five ways to help keep your head in the game and strengthen your attentiveness skills:

• Practice doing one thing at a time
  Whenever possible, do one thing at a time. Whether it's your children describing their day or your partner boosting about a big accomplishment, stop what you are doing and focus solely, giving this person your undivided attention.

• Make contact
  As you focus solely on the conversation, make eye contact. You'll find it's difficult to maintain eye contact and multitask at the same time. Listen with your entire being (mind, body, spirit) and show others you are present and completely focused on the conversation - smile, nod, raise your eyebrows, shrug your shoulders, light up your eyes.

• Slow down
  Many of us are conditioned to be in a rushed state of mind because we live in a society that demands achievement be attained quickly. This is precisely the reason many of us find it so difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time. In the rush of "doing," the special moments pass us by. Make a commitment to slow down and focus on the here and now.

• Commit yourself
  There are conversations we anticipate will progress quickly, and others we know will be time-consuming. When engaged in conversation, commit yourself to the time necessary to complete the dialogue. If you find the time allotted is insufficient to conclude the talk, arrange for a mutually beneficial time to complete the discussion.

• See every interaction as an opportunity to connect
  Every contact you have with someone presents an opportunity to connect with that person, to learn a bit more about them. It's important to remember you can choose to relate with others positively or negatively. Whenever you come upon someone, always ask yourself this question - "What will I miss if I choose to tune out?" Listen to your response, and let this guide your actions and your choice.

The ability to remain in the moment is a matter of personal choice. Make a commitment and follow these simple steps and you'll expand your interpersonal skills to new heights of success.

Customer Service Secrets: Six Secrets of Outstanding Customer Retention

When I was Vice President of Sales for a New York based computer services company, I walked by one of my salesperson's desk when the phone began to ring and picked up the phone to answer the call. It was one call that tested my customer service skills.

It was a call from a Senior Vice President for Chase Manhattan Bank, N.A. She was not happy with the service our representative was giving her and said she was considering going to another vendor for her computer services. I let her talk as she vented her anger.

I reintroduced myself and let her know that I would personally appreciate her sharing her customer service concerns with me. I also let her know we valued her as a customer and wanted her business and that I would do whatever it took to make her happy with our company. She then let me know that someone better "make her happy" by the end of the day or we could forget about doing business again with Chase Manhattan Bank. I let her know I personally could see her in one hour, and she agreed to the meeting.

I put together the solution and took the #4 subway line to Wall Street to meet at her office. As I waited in the lobby of her building for an elevator, five women gathered around me to also wait for the elevator. The elevator arrived and we all walked into the elevator. I took the initiative and greeted the group of women and commented on the weather. This opened up the conversation between all of us and soon, with additional exchanges, we were laughing about our day.

I left the elevator, and one of the women also got off on the same floor. I asked her where the Senior Vice President's office was located, and she said she would be glad to take me to the office. We continued our engaging conversation along the way and, before I knew it, we were at the Senior Vice President's office door.

I was about to thank the woman for escorting me, when she walked around and behind the Senior Vice President's desk and announced that she was Senior Vice President and how could she help me. Let's say I was surprised. I introduced myself, we both paused for a moment, and then we both laughed.

To say the least, we had a very productive meeting, which led to a great customer relation with Chase Manhattan Bank and her for many years and with the bank even beyond her retirement. She was so impressed with her positive experience that day that she became my biggest advocate to other senior management within the bank, which led to new customers and millions in additional business.

What, then, are the secrets to customer retention and winning back an angry customer so that the situation becomes an outstanding customer service experience?

The following are six customer service secrets for winning back customers, increasing customer satisfaction, and increasing your bottom line:

1. Start with a Positive Attitude - Look at any customer service situation as a challenge and an opportunity to learn and grow, and take care of the customer's needs. Start with a positive attitude that says, "I want to help you and, together, we will find a solution." I always say, "You never know who is watching you, so always give them your best face.” Because I had a positive attitude in the above situation, I put on my best face when interacting with the women in the elevator, and this led to a positive impression of me with the senior vice president."



2. Listen with Empathy - Put yourself in the customer's shoes, experience his/her pain, and communicate to the customer you understand the pain. You can communicate your understanding of their pain by saying, "Thank you for sharing your concerns with me. If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way."



3. Take Ownership - Don't make excuses for what happened with the customer. Apologize and take ownership for what happened with the customer. The sooner you take ownership of the customer service challenge, the sooner you can take ownership of the customer service solutions.



4. Communicate Your Plan of Action - Let the customer know what you are willing to do to take care of his/her concerns. The customer becomes frustrated when he/she feels uninvolved or uncertain as to what you are planning for the customer service solution. Ask for the customer's commitment to the plan before proceeding with the action. My plan of action started when I told the customer that I was going to take the subway immediately to meet with her, and the complete customer service plan was communicated during our first meeting.



5. Take Action - The most important customer service secret is taking action. You can go through all the other customer service secrets and if you don't take action, all your actions and credibility are lost. You increase customer retention when you make sure you deliver more than what is promised. Act quickly, act with a quality solution, and act with integrity.



6. Ask for the Business - During the customer service challenge, I expressed several times that I valued and wanted her business. This let's the customer know that you don't take his/her business for granted. It's even more important that you express to the customer that you want his/her business after the customer service situation is resolved. You can also give an extra incentive to the customer for acting now to continue giving you the business. It can be as simple as a discount coupon or some other special offering.

Apply these customer service secrets with your customers and you will increase customer satisfaction and customer retention and win back customers to increase your bottom line.

Outstanding Presentations Start in the Mind: Five Secrets for Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

Public speaking presents such a challenge for many people. In the Book of Lists, public speaking anxiety and making a presentation constitute the number one fear; the fear of dying is number two. Like the old saying goes, "People would rather be in the grave than make a presentation." You see people sweat, shake, and quiver while they are speaking. Sometimes, employees bypass promotions, and business owners bypass business opportunities rather than give a presentation. I saw a manager who was on the corporate fast track quickly become derailed because she couldn't complete her presentation in front of senior management.

So what do great speakers do to prepare themselves to be great presenters? They prepare their minds to give a great presentation. That's right; it all starts in your mind. How can you develop a great speaker's mindset and start giving outstanding presentations? The following are five secrets for powerful public speaking:

1. Believe It So That You Can Achieve It
   I am approached by people who say, "I can't speak in public," "I am a bad speaker," or "I could never speak in public." Without hearing them speak, I say, "You're right." Because once you make those negative statements, they become self-fulfilling prophesies. When you say, "I am a bad speaker," your subconscious mind is thinking, "Well, he or she said it, so it must be true; so I will act like a bad speaker." Positive speaking attitude (PSA) is one of the first things I work on during my presentation coachings. Replace the negative speaking attitude with a PSA to master your self talk and improve your presentation skills. Instead of saying, "I am a bad speaker," say the following:
   
   
   • "I am improving my public speaking abilities everyday in everyway."
   • "Every opportunity to make a presentation is an opportunity for success."
   • "I am a good public speaker today; and, with continued practice, I will be a better public speaker tomorrow."
   • "I am mastering my presentation skills everyday!"

   When you make these positive affirmations, your subconscious mind hears it and says, "Yeah, I am improving," or "Let me speak because it is an opportunity for success," or "I am mastering my speaking skills."

   Manage your self talk for a PSA. You will feel a new confident attitude concerning public speaking.

2. Think About What You Want to Accomplish
   I will ask the question, "What do you want to accomplish with your presentation?" Many times I will be on the receiving end of a blank stare or the student might say, "I just want them to listen to me."
   
   Take time to think about what you want to accomplish by giving your presentation. Is it that you want to entertain the audience, do you want to persuade them on an important issue, or maybe you want the audience to take action after hearing your presentation. Going into your presentation knowing what you want to accomplish creates focus and is a big confidence builder.

3. Visualize Success
   Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at an association conference with over five thousand people in the audience. Joy, my wife, was sitting in the audience with our friend Jim who came to hear me speak for the first time. As I was about to speak, Jim leaned over and asked Joy if I was nervous speaking in front of such a large group of people. Without blinking an eye, Joy said, "He was born for this day. He saw this day coming when he first started speaking."

   I visualized that day long before it happened. Whenever I give a presentation, I take time to visualize a successful presentation and positive outcome. The more details I include in my visualizations, the more vivid and real it becomes for me. The night before the presentation I will find a quiet place at home or, if I am on the road, a hotel room, and meditate to start the visualization process. I will visualize my drive to the event, greeting the host and audience, and how my powerful presentation will sound and look on that day. I will also visualize the audience's positive response to the presentation.

   Take time to visualize the details of giving a great presentation. Like the old saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it." If you visualize you are a great speaker, you will take the steps and create opportunities for yourself to become a great speaker.

   Visualize that the audience wants to hear your message and they want you to do well. Remember, it's their time also and they want to receive value out of your speech.

4. Own the Room
   Whenever I speak, I "own the room." I mentally tell myself that for the next thirty minutes, hour, etc., I own the room. The corporation, association, or government may own the building or venue I am speaking in, but during the time I am speaking, I am the owner of the room and the audience will be my guests, my friends. That way I am always in control to give an outstanding presentation.

   Think of your speaking area as your house, your home, your castle. When you invite friends into your home, aren't you in control and want to provide a safe, entertaining environment for your guests? The same is true for your speaking audience; you want to provide a safe, entertaining, and enriching experience for them.

   I always say, "Giving presentations is not about me, it's about you (the audience)." What I mean is that if I am constantly thinking about how I sound, look, and feel while I speak, I am not thinking about what I can share with my audience. Concentrate on the value you will give to your audience members and you will never go wrong.

5. Eat the Elephant
   Many times I hear the following:

   "I could never speak in front of a group of people, but one-on-one I am fine."

   Well, I ask, "How do you eat the elephant?" Break the elephant into smaller pieces. It is the same when you "digest" the audience. Don't think of the audience as a whole, think of the audience as individuals ready to hear your message. Concentrate on thinking of your audience as individuals, and your message will come across that way to the individual audience members.

Follow these five secrets for creating a positive mindset for confident public speaking. Overcoming your public speaking anxiety will improve your presentation skills and create new opportunities for you through public speaking.

Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes are Featured Leadership Speakers at Toastmaster International Convention

Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes will be featured speakers at the 2006 Toastmasters International Convention held at the Washington Hilton in Washington, DC, on August 26th. The title of their presentation is "The Business of Toastmasters: How to Create a Vibrant, Motivated and Profitable Club."

Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes will share secrets for treating your club, association, or group as a growing business. Ed and Joy, while volunteering for Toastmasters as Club Extension Specialist and District Public Relations Officer, respectively, have created and mentored five new clubs in 2006: Norfolk Naval Shipyard HRSC, GEICO, Booz, Allen and Hamilton, Verizon, and Johnson Controls, with vibrant starting memberships of over thirty plus and growing. They are currently working with State Farm Insurance to start a new club. These organizations realize that outstanding communication skills improve employee morale, customer relations, and, ultimately, better performance and bottom line.

"Many non-profit groups act like they are non-profits," says Ed Sykes. "However, they have an obligation as leaders to market, provide the product or service guaranteed in their "contract" (the membership application), and take care of their "customers" (the members). "Just like a corporation," says Joy Fisher-Sykes, "you are responsible for working with your "shareholders" (your area, division, and district officers) to provide the best product or service for your customers to grow your "business" (the organization).

Happy National Get Out of the Dog House Day!

July 17th is National Get Out of the Doghouse Day! Are you in someone's doghouse? Is someone in your doghouse?

Being in the doghouse or keeping someone in the doghouse leads to the following:

• Added stress and anxiety to your life which leads to illness and disease

• Lost concentration and focus

• Lost of career and life opportunities

Make the effort to get out of the doghouse. Take the first steps to:

1. Talk it out

2. Apologize, if needed

3. End with a promise for improvement

If you put someone in the doghouse, ask these questions:

• Is it worth all the physical and mental energy to keep this person(s) in the doghouse?

• What am I getting by keeping this person in the doghouse?

• Is my pride getting in the way of reconciling our relationship?

• What's the big picture compared to why this person is in the doghouse?

Remember, as a good friend recently told me, life is way too short to let disagreements get in the way of good relationships.

Take the steps to get out of the doghouse or let someone out of the doghouse!

Click here to read additional information on how to empower yourself or others.

Joy Fisher-Sykes is Television Spokesperson for Real Estate Investment Company

Joy Fisher-Sykes of The Sykes Group was hired as spokesperson for a leading real estate investment company based in Virginia Beach, VA. The commercials can be seen during Oprah on ABC, the Today Show on NBC, and Fox News on the Fox television station.

Joy will be the main television spokesperson for Sierra Home Solutions, a leading real estate investment company in the State of Virginia. Sierra Home Solutions specializes in purchasing properties from motivated sellers and, after investing in the properties, reselling the properties or renting them to potential clients.

"It's an important service that helps both buyers and sellers. Many times, due to divorce, military reassignment, career relocation, or other life situations, the sellers need to quickly sell their property," says Joy Fisher-Sykes. "The sellers are able to receive a fair offer and immediate cash for their property, while Sierra Home Solutions receives investment property to serve their clients."

Press play button to watch commercial

Bad Customer Service Is Not So Funny: Five Secrets to Giving Outstanding Customer Service

The following story tells how a customer experience went from funny to sad in less than 24 hours, and five secrets to creating an outstanding customer experience.

Recently, Joy and I were invited to go to a local comedy club. It was one of those clubs where you eat dinner while listening to the comedians.

We had a very enjoyable evening with our hosts. The comedians were funny and the meals were delicious. The server gave us our check for the meals and, after perusing the bill, gave the waiter our credit card for payment. I noticed that the waiter went to all the tables he served at the same time and collected all the receipts and credit cards, cash, and payments at the same time. We were a little concerned that the payments would be applied to the wrong receipts. However, we assumed the best and assumed the server had an organized system for applying the payments to the right receipts.

To read the rest of the story...

Explain Yourself! The Reason Why Excuses Sabotage Your Success

Have you ever been in a situation where you were unable to make good on a promise or commitment? Perhaps you were late with a report to your manager, unable to take a child to the playground, or late for dinner with your partner. The question is, after the realization sets in that you can not deliver, how do you explain why you were unable to meet your obligation? Do you stand in the truth, own your actions and give an honest reason, or do you make excuses concerned only with freeing yourself from blame?

Is there a difference?
For many of us, we have probably thought of the two as being one in the same. You may be asking yourself, "Is there really a difference?" At times, the distinction between the two can be difficult to see. After all, excuses have the ability to be disguised as reasons fooling you into thinking, "That sounds like a valid reason." In fact, when you tune in and really listen, the facade of an excuse will quickly give way to expose the truth of falsehood.

Explanations come in two forms - excuses and reasons. Remember: you make excuses and you give reasons.

Explanations
An excuse is an attempt to free oneself from blame by deflecting attention and responsibility onto someone or something else. Excuses diminish your power and say "I am not willing to take responsibility. Instead, I will settle for whatever path others choose for me as a result of my actions." Making excuses will erode others confidence in you, and destroy your self-respect. The refusal to be personally accountable is rooted in the fear of failure - to be known as someone who did not deliver. This defense mechanism results in a plea to convince others to overlook your part and to minimize the damage caused by your role in a given situation.

To say one has a "good excuse" is an oxymoron which implies there is a difference between good and bad excuses. All excuses are bad and unacceptable. Here are some examples:

• "I was late to the meeting because the clock in the lunchroom has been broken for a month."

• "My report is late because my manager didn't remind me it was due today."

• "I am not ready to give my report to the Board of Directors tomorrow because I was on vacation the last two weeks and I didn't prepare."

A reason is defined as a legitimate, truthful account of a situation which includes explanation of your part. Rooted in good judgment, there exists a willingness to own your actions and deal with the consequences. Reasons seek to clarify what happened, who was responsible, and how to deal with the situation and seek immediate solutions so that one can do better now and in the future. A reason is not motivated by fear, but driven by respect and integrity. Here are some examples:

• "The reason I am late is because I had a flat tire."

• "Although I was assigned this report last Friday, the reason my report is late is because the mainframe crashed Friday afternoon and has been down ever since. I have attempted to retrieve the information from our satellite location, but to no avail."

• "The reason I will not give a Power Point presentation is because the projector just died. Since it will be at least an hour before we locate a replacement, I will proceed without it and ask that you follow along via my handout."

Action Steps
When you are in the moment of truth, remember the choice is yours - you can make excuses or you can give valid reasons. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before you speak out to determine if you are about to make excuses or provide a reason:

1. What is your intent - is it to release yourself from total blame or to provide a straightforward, honest account of the situation and your actions?

2. Are you willing to accept the consequences of your actions and take steps to improve the situation?

3. Are you willing to honestly acknowledge the degree of your responsibility, and is there anything you could have done differently?

The next time you are faced with the prospect of explaining your actions, ask yourself "Is this an excuse or a valid reason?" Always find the courage to behave with integrity and honor your self-respect. When faced with a choice, the question is what will you do?

Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes are Keynote Speakers at Big Brothers Big Sisters Appreciation Banquet

Ed Sykes and Joy Fisher-Sykes were the keynote speakers during the Big Brothers Big Sisters Appreciation Banquet on February 3rd at the Little Creek Naval Base Chief Petty Officer Club in Norfolk, VA. The banquet was to acknowledge the Big Brothers and Big Sisters for their efforts in making a difference with their "little brothers" and "little sisters."

Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Hampton Roads is a nonprofit organization dedicated to creating a positive future for at-risk children. They match children, the little brothers or sisters known as "littles," with a mentor or Big Brother or Sister known as the "bigs," to invest time and provide guidance to their mentees to create a positive future for the "littles."

The banquet was attended by Rep. Thelma Drake (R-VA) and Portsmouth Mayor Bill Holley among others. Ed and Joy gave the speech, "Make a Difference," highlighting the positive experiences they had mentoring children. Ed let the volunteers know that they were heroes because they invest their time and effort to make a difference in the lives of the children, their little brothers and sisters. Ed also said, "We make a difference by setting positive expectations for children who have negative influences in their lives." Joy spoke about the need for the children to be comfortable with themselves. "We must teach our children that they don't need to have the most expensive clothes, cars, and jewelry to be great and be successful. They must be 'comfortable in their own skin' so that they make the right decisions because it's the right thing to do, not based on what other people want them to do." Joy also mentioned that the volunteers benefit from their experiences because they develop a new perspective on life and enhance their listening skills. This leads to improved personal and business relationships.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Hampton Roads is located in Chesapeake, VA. They can be reached at telephone number 757-549-7437 or at their website, www.bbbsofshr.org.

Today is Pay a Compliment Day!

Give a Compliment Day

"You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life."

- Zig Ziglar

January 25th is Give a Compliment Day! On this day you are to share five compliments during the day.

Why is this important? Because it is so easy to comment on what is wrong with your employees, your community, and even your family or spouse. But sometimes we forget about appreciating the good things people do everyday. By giving a sincere compliment (not flattery), you receive the following benefits:

• A compliment forces you to find the positive in people.

• A compliment lets the other person know you appreciate them for what they do.

• A compliment can be contagious and create a positive environment.

• A compliment can erase conflict between individuals.

• A compliment can make a difference in someone's life.

Believe it or not, there are people going through life never receiving a sincere compliment or expression of appreciation. Do you know someone like that or you can't remember when the last time someone gave you a compliment? They never receive a compliment at work, from family members, or at school. Remember, everyone has something they do well. Our job is to find it and express our appreciation for it. By sharing a sincere compliment can make the day for them...and you.

So here are my five compliments that I will share with these very special people:

To Joy (my wife and business partner): I appreciate her attention to detail and her ability to constantly push herself and others to be better.

To my kids: I appreciate their independent thinking, their drive, and their initiative to make positive things for themselves and others.

To A.F.: I appreciate you for being a leader and taking the time to invest your time to listen and act on your employee's ideas.

To M.T.: I appreciate your energy and positive attitude at your place of work while fighting through your illness. Especially since your doctor told you not to put in so many hours.

To Amos and the BOA crew: I appreciate the way you always make every customer feel special and attend to them like they are the only person in the bank.

I challenge you to find something you appreciate in five other people and share a sincere compliment with each person. Do it because it's the right thing to do.

You'll be glad you did.

Motivate Your Team! Eight Quick Tips to Motivate for Success

Motivation is the key ingredient for success in any organization. You can have all the technical skills in the world; however, if you can't motivate your team, you will not achieve success. As a leader, a majority of your job is to motivate others to succeed so that everyone's goals are accomplished.

The following are eight quick tips to motivate your team:

1. Everyone Has Motivation
   Your employees are motivated on some level. It is your job to find the level of their motivation and move your employees to the next level. Read more...

E-mail Protocol - 12 Simple Rules to Stay Connected

Electronic mail is a quick, easy, and convenient way to instantly link up with people around the globe. To ensure our messages don't confuse or alienate others, it's important to practice basic e-mail etiquette. Here are twelve simple e-mail rules to keep you connected and make sureevery communique is clear, polished, and professional.

Rule #1 - Be concise. Follow the KISS rule (keep it short and sweet). Get to the point in a clear manner. Keep paragraphs short - three or four sentences at most. If you find you need to send an e-mail that is longer than a few short paragraphs, revise the message or consider picking up the phone or paying a personal visit instead. Read more...

Common Courtesy Isn't So Common - 10 Telephone Blunders in Everyday Business

As youngsters, many of us were taught basic telephone etiquette. These lessons taught us the basic components of conducting a phone conversation - politeness, attentiveness, respect, and common courtesy. Unfortunately, it seems these lessons have been forgotten by many of today's companies. For many, the philosophy seems to say that it's easier to forgo these practices and, instead, choose to deal with the customer service consequences later. It seems the true cost to the bottom line is of not of any consequence. Why in a time of ever increasing competition locally and abroad, along with the knowledge of customers' high expectations, would anyone be willing to overlook and undervalue this most basic customer service skill? Read more...

Try Using a Little Customer Service Common Sense

Joy went to the local cafe to pick up dinner for the evening. I asked her to bring back a Jamaican Jerk wrap for me. She returned home with a devilish smile on her face. I asked her to share with me what she was thinking about that made her smile. She said the cafe server wrote on the food wrapper so that I can identify which meal belonged to me. This is what she handed to me.

The word "jerk" was written on the wrapper. I had a good laugh. What was the server thinking? I can't make this up.

It helps to have a little common sense when serving customers. Write Jamaican Jerk, Jamaican, or J.J., but don't write "jerk."

Have you run into a situation where the person serving you didn't show common sense? Share your story with us.

Happy National Get Out of the Doghouse Day!

Today is Happy National Get Out of the Doghouse Day! Are you in someone's doghouse? Is someone in your doghouse?

Being in the doghouse or keeping someone in the doghouse leads to the following:

• Added stress and anxiety to your life which leads to illness and disease

• Lost concentration and focus

• Lost of career and life opportunities

Make the effort to get out of the doghouse. Take the first steps to:

1. Talk it out

2. Apologize, if needed

3. End with a promise for improvement

If you put someone in the doghouse, ask these questions:

• Is it worth all the physical and mental energy to keep this person(s) in the doghouse?

• What am I getting by keeping this person in the doghouse?

• Is my pride getting in the way of reconciling our relationship?

• What's the big picture compared to why this person is in the doghouse?

Remember, as a good friend recently told me, life is way too short to let disagreements get in the way of good relationships.

Take the steps to get out of the doghouse or let someone out of the doghouse!

Click here to read additional information on how to empower yourself or others.

Ed Sykes is Featured Leadership Speaker at Toastmaster Regional Conference

Ed Sykes, co-founder of The Sykes Group, was the featured speaker at the Region Eight Toastmaster Conference held at the Birmingham Marriott in Birmingham, AL, on June 3rd. The title of his presentation was "Communicate to Motivate." Read more...

Verbal Faux Pas - The Words You Use Can Empower or Confuse

Imagine you're attending a conference and you can't wait to hear the keynote speaker. During the session, you find the speaker to be both entertaining and inspiring. In fact, you can't wait to put what you hear into practice. Then it happens-out of nowhere, you hear these dreaded words, "Let me be honest with you." Immediately your attention is distracted as you ponder the meaning of these words. Perhaps you say to yourself, "Have you been dishonest with me up to now? Should I believe a word you say going forward?"

Time and time again I hear people matter-of-factly use words or phrases that distract, detract, and deflate their message. Is it any wonder their message is misunderstood or not well received? When we choose to use verbal faux pas, instead of communicating clarity and confidence, we create confusion and mistrust.

The following is a list of the most common verbal faux pas to banish from your vocabulary: Read more...

Five Secrets to Becoming the Perfect Employee That Everyone Wants - Part One

With ever increasing deadlines, decreasing resources, and changing workplaces, sometimes it can be challenging to be a good employee, much less a perfect employee. The employee who can rise above the everyday problems and embrace challenges will be the person that every employer wants.

The following are five secrets to being the perfect employee everyone wants: To read the rest of the article...

Have you Appreciated Someone Today?

I invested some time with Mother recently and drove her to the hospital to visit with her sick sister-in-law, my aunt. While I was standing in the doorway, a nurse came by and introduced herself as Ruth and said "hello" to us and said "hello" to my aunt. This put a smile on my aunt's face. The nurse then introduced me to the other nurses working at the nurses' station. She let me know that these nurses are hard working and good at their jobs.

I couldn't agree with her more. Theirs is a very difficult job with no margin for error. In many situations they know and understand the patients better than the doctors.

Realizing this, and noticing that some of the nurses looked a little tired, I asked Ruth to bring out all the nurses she had introduced me to at the nurses' station. I reintroduced myself and explained that my aunt was the patient in room 518. Then I said the following:

"I would like to thank you for taking care of my aunt. I personally appreciate the way you make her comfortable during this difficult time, and I know that my aunt is in good hands. My family, and especially my uncle, appreciates the hard work and care you put into making her better. Thank you again and keep doing what you are doing to make a difference with not only my family, but other families."

Well, you should have seen the looks on the nurses' faces. First, they had a look of surprise. Then they were all smiling from ear to ear. Several faces turned red. But all of them had a look of appreciation as they said, "Thank you."

Why did they have a surprised look on their faces? Was this the first time someone other than another nurse had acknowledged them? When was the last time someone showed appreciation to them?

It only took fifteen seconds to put a smile on their faces and have them feel good about themselves. Take the time every day to appreciate your employees, your family, and other people that are doing a good job. It might be the only appreciation they receive and will make a difference in their day.

Read my article, Appreciate to Motivate, to find out how to make your appreciation count every time. You will also feel good doing it.

Survey States that Most Employees Feel Unappreciated

Our February 2005 survey asked the question, "How often do you receive praise for a job well done?" The results came back as follows:

• 25.4% receives appreciation daily

• 12.7% receives appreciation weekly

• 13.1% receives appreciation monthly

• 11.2% receives appreciation a few times a year

• 37.6% stated they never received appreciation

For whatever reason, 37.6% of employees still feel unappreciated. Take the steps to communicate your appreciation of the efforts your employees are making everyday. Take the time to read the following articles to jumpstart your motivation efforts so that you can have a more productive workforce:

Also take the time share your opionion in the March poll, "What would motivate you at work?"

Five Secrets to "Thinking on Your Feet"

Many times we are put into situations where we are asked a question and need to give an answer on the spot, or "think on your feet." It could be a sales or customer service situation, your manager asking you for a progress report, a request for your ideas on a new community project, or a job interview.

During these times we can feel the pressure. Our heart begins to race, we start to sweat, we feel our knees knocking, or we want to hide under a rock. This is because sometimes the answer we give could mean that big sale, the customer being satisfied, a promotion or raise, or that dream job.

The following are five secrets to help you master your "thinking on your feet" skills:

1. Listen
   Many times when we are in a high pressure situation where we are so nervous we really don't hear the actual question. Been there, done that. To make sure we understand the question and give the right answer do the following:
   
   
   • Breathe slower (Benefit: Relaxes body and mind).
   • Look directly at the questioner. (Benefit: Increases comprehension.)
   • Ask questions (Benefit: increases clarity and shows you are listening).

2. Pause to Organize
   It is okay to pause. Pause to gather your thoughts. When you pause you look and sound poised and in control. Remember, there is power in silence.

3. Repeat the Question
   This has several benefits:
   
   • Buys you time to think.
   • Communicates a complete piece of information.
   • Allows you to take control of the question by rephrasing the question to a more positive light if needed.
   • Enables everyone, if in a public setting, to hear the question.

4. Focus on One Main Point and Support It
   The number one reason why we sometimes freeze up when asked to think on our feet is because we have so many ideas running around in our minds. We don't know which idea to mention.
   
   Here's the solution: Go with the first idea that comes to mind and say it. By sticking with that one point you can focus on two or three supporting points. You sound more direct and confident when giving your answer.

5. Summarize and Stop (SAS)
   End your answer with some SAS (Summarize and Stop). Give your answer, summarize, and stop. Don't apologize and don't ramble on beyond the finish. Try this trick: repeat the essence of the question. For example, you may be asked, "Why did you stop the project?" In your summary you might say, "And that's why we decided to start another project." Then stop.
   
   Give your answer, let them know the end is near by saying:
   
   "In summary..."
   "In conclusion..."
   
   Then simply stop. Remember SAS.

Apply these techniques so that you can become a master at "thinking on your feet" and give great answers. You can practice these skills by joining Toastmasters. In their meetings they have an exercise called "table topics," in which you can practice this skill in a supportive environment

Want to learn how to give outstanding presentations? Our How to Give Powerful Presentions or Assertive Communication workshops can help you give outstanding presentations. Also read our articles on presentation skills, etc. Call us at 757-427-7032 or e-mail us at info@thesykesgrp.com.

Ten Customer Service Secrets to Win Back Customers

Recently I was facilitating an Outstanding Customer Service program and broke for lunch. Knowing that the restaurants in the area had much to desire as far as service I gave the students an extra fifteen minutes for lunch.

Sure enough a group of four students came rushing into the classroom with their lunches in hand. They sincerely apologized and quickly explained that they receive poor service at a restaurant (This restaurant is part of a national chain. Hint: its name references a day in the week. I can't give you the complete answer.). They went on to explain that after the waiter initially took their order, they waited 45 minutes before their food finally arrived. During the wait, no one came to check on them.

They went on to explain the food finally came and it was time to leave for class. They were not happy. They asked to see the restaurant manager. The manager sheepishly came to see them and asked, "What was the problem?" One of my students explained the situation to which the restaurant manager replied, "The food ticket only shows you were waiting for eleven minutes." My students were not happy and expressed it to which the manager asked them, "Would you like dessert?" My students again expressed they were not happy. Each time my students expressed their unhappiness, the manager would say she was sorry. My students weren't buying it. The manager then left without explaining where and what she was doing. The manager returned and told my students that their meals were free.Even though the manager gave them free meals my students said they will never go back to that restaurant or any other restaurant in that chain.

So why weren't these customers happy? The restaurant had an opportunity to turn a difficult customer service experience into a winning situation for all and squandered it. Not only will these patrons, my students, never go back to any restaurant in that chain but how many other people will they tell about their unhappy experience? The unhappy customer, on average, will tell 27 other people about their experience. With the use of the internet, whether web pages or e-mail, that number can increase in the thousands, if not millions with the click of a button. However, according to the Department of Consumer Affairs, 82-95% of unhappy customers will come back if impressed and actually refer five new customers.

Let's take a look at the ten secrets that will not only win back your customer in any situation, but have them referring new customers, but will add more money to your bottom line revenue.

1. Smile
   Nothing can turn a hostile situation into position moment faster than a sincere smile. A smile that says, "I want to help you in a positive way." It communicates you are positive about the interaction with the customer. A sincere smile enhances the communication process so that you can find the solution faster.

2. Introduce Yourself as the Solution Creator
   Make sure you introduce yourself, find out the customer's name, and let your customer know your position and why you are there. This lets the customer know you are taking responsibility to creating a solution for them. You might say something like:
   
   "Hello, my name is Mike. I am the manager at this location. I am here to assist you in this situation, please tell me about it."
   
   Notice I didn't say, "What's the problem?" By using "What's the problem?" you start the customer service situation in a negative note. The customer is thinking "You're the problem," "This establishment is the problem," "The whole world is the problem," etc. By starting your conversation with "I am here to assist you in this situation, please tell me about it" you are setting up a "verbal agreement" in the customer's mind to move to a solution.
   
   Note: If possible, please use the customer's name throughout the conversation.

3. Listen
   Customers want tell their side of the story and feel like they are only heard but you listened to them. Mentally take a step back and dedicate yourself to actively listening to the customer's story with an open mind so that you can find a solution. In the above situation, the manager stood silently while my students were explaining their story. Be active in your listening and create empathy ("put yourself in the customer's shoes") with statements such as:
   
   • "I can appreciate what you're saying."
   • "I can understand how you'd feel that way."
   • "I can see how you'd be upset."
   • "It sounds as if we've caused you inconvenience."
   • "What I understand the situation to be..."
   
   

   Please stay away communication that alienates the customer such as:

   • "I don't know why you are so upset."
   • "That's the first complaint we ever got on that."
   • "I know how you feel." (Because you don't)
   • "Boy, you're sure mad"
   
   In the above story, the students told the manager that they weren't happy with the service because they didn't have time to eat their meals. The manager, not listening, said, "Would you like dessert?" The solution was not more food. Listen for the solution!

4. Be Sorry for the Right Reasons
   Be sincere in your concern for the customer and say sorry the correct way. Many time in the heat of the customer service situation we what to show some sign of concern so we do the following:
   
   • The first words of the interaction with the words, "I'm sorry." First, you didn't find out any information from the customer to be sorry.
   • Say sorry throughout the conversation with saying what you are sorry for. When saying you are sorry, say exactly what you are sorry for.
   
   The students, even though the manager kept repeating she was sorry, didn't think the manager was sincere in her apology. The correct say to say you are sorry is:
   
   
   • "I'm sorry you had to wait so long for your food."
   • "I'm sorry that you were treated that way."
   • "I'm sorry that our employee said that to you."
   • "I'm sorry this situation happened to you."
   
   Let the customer know exactly why you are sorry. The students thought the manager's "sorrys" were insincere because she never mentioned why she was sorry.

5. Give Your Personal Assurance.
   Let the customer know you will personally create a solution for them. It could be as simple as saying, "I'm taking personal responsibility for this."

6. Ask Them What They Want
   One of the fears that we have when trying to satisfy the customer is that we think they want something out of our reach. Ask the customer, "What would you like you to do?" or "What would make this situation right for you?" You will be surprised that in most cases the customer will ask for less you were willing to give.

7. Use Statements of Conviction
   Sure the following to gain the confidence of the customer:
   
   • "We're going to do something about that!"
   • "We will make a change right now!"

8. Present a Clear Plan of Action
   Make sure the customer knows what you are going to do to correct the situation for them. 95% of making things right for the customer is making them aware that you are taking action to make a difference for them. Explain to them the actions and timelines you need to take to make things right for them. If you need to leave or make a telephone call to obtain additional information, say:
   
   
   • "Excuse me while I make a telephone call obtain the best solution for you. This will take five minutes, can you please wait?"
   • "Excuse me, I need to ask the person with the missing piece of information so that we can quick resolve this for you. Do you mind waiting five minutes?"
   
   Note: Make sure you get back to the time customer before the time you specified. If you promised ten minutes, get back to the customer before ten minutes. Rule of thumb, double the time it would normally that to get the information. If you know it will take ten minutes to get the answer for the customer then tell the customer you will get back to them within twenty minutes.

9. Move Quickly to the Solution
   If you applied steps 1-8 you are ready to give the customer the solution they wanted for a win-win situation. You can confirm this by saying the following:
   
   
   • "Would this be agreeable for you?"
   • "Is this the solution you were looking for?"
   • "Will this make things right for you?"

10. Ask for the Business
    If you did everything right this is the perfect time to ask the customer to come back and do business with your organization. You showed that you were professional, caring, sincerely, positive, and proactive. Why wouldn't they do business with you again?
    
    Some of the way you can say this is:
    • "We would appreciate the opportunity to serve you in the future."
    • "Please come back and I will personally guarantee you receive outstanding service."
    • "Here is a 20% coupon. Please use it on your next visit to our establishment."

It's important that you let the customer know that you appreciate their business and want them to come back. Remember, if you did everything right, not only will them come back but they will other people to do business with you. Use challenging customer service situations to build your business.

Bite Your Tongue! 10 Ways to Be an Effective Listener

Want to learn how to provide outstanding customer service? Our Outstanding Customer Service, Master Your Attitude, Assertive Communication, Conflict Management, How to Master Challenging People During Difficult Situation, and How to Handle Workplace Stress and Master Your Life programs can help you lead others to the next level. Also read our articles on motivation, goal setting, etc. Call us at 757-427-7032 or e-mail us at info@thesykesgrp.com.

Happy Thanksgiving!

In this season of thanksgiving, let us be surrounded by the love of family, the warmth of home and the joy of friendship.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ed & Joy

Dr. Seuss's "The Cat in the Hat" Will Help You Get Your Point Across! (Yes you can, here is the Plan)

I was recently coaching an engineer who wanted to improve his speaking skills. After videotaping him, we discussed his strong points and then his areas of improvement. Then we got to the area of vocal variety. Vocal variety is the quality of your speech that hold your audience. It is the combination of pitch changes, pauses, inflection, rhythm, and loudness in your voice that adds "color" to any conversation or speech. I suggested he try Dr. Seuss's "The Cat in the Hat." At that point he looked at me like I had a third eye. I then explained how "The Cat in the Hat" could help anyone improve his or her speaking skills, especially vocal variety, and have fun doing it.

Can you remember being read "The Cat in the Hat" by your parents? What held your attention? What made you want to hear "The Cat in the Hat" again and again? "The Cat in the Hat" is set up so that you must use vocal variety to read the story. It's the vocal variety that held your attention.

Here's how Dr. Seuss's "The Cat in the Hat" can help you hold your audience's attention:

1. Buy the Book
   My favorite Dr. Seuss books for this type of exercise are "The Cat in the Hat" and "Green Eggs and Ham." You can go to any used bookstore and get a gently used copy of the book at a substantial discount. You can also go to www.half.com and get the book at more than 50% off the price.

2. Read with Passion
   Read to your children, nephews, cousins, etc. While reading aloud, exaggerate your pitch, tone, and pauses. The children will enjoy it as you will become used to the sound of your voice. Children are the best barometers to let you know if you are doing it correctly. The children will have a look on their faces that show they are hanging on every word you are saying. Continue to experiment with different ways to read "The Cat in the Hat" while recording yourself on audiotape. The more fun you have, the more everyone involved will benefit from this exercise.

3. Apply It Right Away (That's the Way!)
   Immediately apply your newly acquired vocal variety skills in any speaking situation whether it's in a meeting, with co-workers, speaking in front of a group, or one-on-one with another person. It may feel a little strange in the beginning. However, remember the more you use your new skills, the more comfortable you will be.

So go out, get a Dr. Seuss book, and improve your vocal variety. You will have more people hanging on every word, you will be more persuasive, and your speaking abilities will be more colorful and entertaining. So do it today (It will pay!).

Click on the "comment" link below and share your thoughts with us.

Want to learn more about presentation skills? Our How to Give Powerful Presentations (without Knocking Knees and Sweaty Palms) program can help you present with confidence.

How to Set Boundaries and Say No

We are constantly bombarded daily with requests for our time. While helping others can be very rewarding, at the same time we can feel distraught about constantly obligating ourselves to others while not fulfilling our own needs. We can feel distressed about constant commitments to do things we simply don’t have the time, energy or desire to do.

At times, we may immediately feel the urge to say no, but instead lose our courage, and concede yet again. The question is why? Is it because:

• You fear you won’t be liked or feel a strong need to please everyone

• You have to always keep the calendar full so you feel needed and important

• You undervalue the need for down time and forget simply not wanting to do anything is a legitimate reason to say no

• You would rather not deal with the consequences of saying no and all the feelings that come with it.

Setting boundaries and saying no is taking personal responsibility for your well-being. This requires you to clearly speak up, and specifically ask for what you want. Your decision to say no to requests from family, friends, and co-workers doesn’t have to be filled with feelings of uneasiness and guilt. It fact, it’s important you remember the decision to say no is strictly a personal choice – yours!

Whether at work, with family, or friends, you can say no with diplomacy, tact, and respect. Here some ways you can embrace your personal power and assert your right to say no.

Ask yourself "Is this a unreasonable request?"
When someone makes a request, he or she is usually tuned into "WIIFM" (What’s In It For Me). People are not necessarily concerned with whether or not a request is in your best interest. If you feel hesitant, trapped or otherwise uncomfortable – go with your gut and say no. These uneasy feelings probably indicate saying yes isn’t best.

Take Your Time
There is no law that says you have to immediately obligate yourself to someone when asked. Take your time before you make a final decision. Simply say "I need time to think about this. I’ll get back to you."

Set goals
Setting your goals will make it easier to say no. Establishing priorities makes it easy to decide how much time you can devote to others without sacrificing your own needs. You will be more comfortable declining requests that conflict with your priorities.

Speak up - without excuses or apologies
When you have all the facts and decide say no, say no calmly and firmly. An assertive tone of voice, body language, and eye contact lets others know you are serious and definite in your decision.

Don’t be meek. Say no directly without excuses. Excuses make you appear as if you aren’t in control of your decisions. If you say "I’m sorry but…" this only weakens your stand. If you have decided saying yes is not in your best interest, no apology is necessary.

What if they won’t take no for an answer?
If someone won’t take no for an answer, repeat your position. Maintain your stand and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated or strong armed. No means no and you have the right to stand by your choice.

Feel good about your decision to say no
Feel calm, confident, and comfortable with your decision to say no. Be secure knowing it’s enough to say no simply because you just don’t want to.

Remember, learn how to say no is a win-win situation for everyone.

Click on the "comment" link below and share your thoughts with us.

To learn how to "Set Boundaries and Say No" go the following links:

• Fall into Success 2004 Empowerment Workshop Series

• How to Master Challenging People in Difficult Situations

• Assertive Communication Skills Workshop

Joy Fisher-Sykes is a professional speaker published in the areas of communication, time management, and teamwork. She works with business and government organizations who want to reach the next level of success and individuals who want to perform at their best. You can email her at jfsykes@thesykesgrp.com, call her at (757) 427-7032 or visit her Web site at www.thesykesgrp.com

Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish the following articles and newsletters in its entirety, electronically, or in print free of charge, as long as you include our full signature file at the end of each article for ezines, and my Web site address in hyperlink for other sites. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to info@thesykesgrp.com.

Ten Quick Tips for Outstanding Presentations

It's that time again...the monthly meeting. You break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. Whether you present to your managers or your employees you are saying to yourself:

What if I mess up?
What if I repeat myself?
What if the audience doesn't like what I say?
What if I forget a part of my speech?
What if I look nervous?

It's okay! You're not the only one feeling this way. The Book of Lists states that the #1 fear is speaking in public. This fear is greater than the fear of death.

Well, I have the answers to your fears and can help you become an outstanding presenter. These 10 tips will help you become more confident making presentations that achieve results.

1. Start with an End in Mind
   Ask yourself, "Why am I speaking?" "What do I want the audience to do after listening to my speech?" This will help you focus on the message you want to share with your audience. It will help you focus on who is your audience, the key points, and what you want your audience to do after listening to you.

2. Keep It Simple
   Keep your presentation simple by learning to "speak to express instead of speaking to impress." What I mean by speaking to impress is when you see speakers using $5 words for $2 situations during speeches and they look uncomfortable doing it. Another example of this is when presenters overuse PowerPoint. Your audience will soon lose interest in what you are saying.
   
   Also keep it simple with the structure of your speech. An opening, body with tree major points, and a closing will help you connect with your audience. Just be sincere, concise, and simple in your presentation and you will always connect with your audience.

3. Practice, Practice, Practice
   Master your presentation by practicing. Here’s the secret to practicing…first read your speech to yourself 2-3 times. This allows you to work out the majority of the rough spots in your presentation before you start rehearsing.
   
   Then rehearse in front of a mirror or even better a video camera or tape player. Also try to rehearse in front of someone whose opinion you value.
   
   Then practice as close as possible to your speaking environment as possible. For example, if you will be speaking behind a lectern, practice with your notes on an ironing board.

4. Visualize Success
   Before going to sleep the night before a presentation I take time to visualize the success of the presentation. The key to making visualization work for you is involving as many senses (sound, touch, sight, smell, etc.) as possible in your visualization. Have you ever had a dream where it seemed so real you awoke in a cold sweat (You don’t need to tell me what the dream was)? It was because you used all your senses and that dream became so real to you that you needed to escape from it.
   
   Visualize yourself giving a successful presentation where you see yourself as a confident presenter, hear yourself handling questions, etc. Visualize successful presentations so that it becomes real.

5. Eat the Elephant
   I ask the timeless question, "How do you eat an elephant?" Piece by piece. The same answer applies to presenting to a group. How do you present to a group? Person to person. Break the group into individuals.
   
   "How do I present to a large group?" is one of the biggest questions people have when giving presentations. Get personal. Whenever possible, I will make sure I arrive early to the room I'm presenting in and plant myself by the entrance. I will then greet as many people as possible that walk through the door. I will shake their hands and let them know I am glad they came. Here's a tip for guaranteeing a positive audience:
   • As you greet, look for pleasant, upbeat people. Then say something like, "I'm especially glad you made it today. As a matter of fact there's a sit in the front row with your name on it. Please enjoy!"
     
     The audience member will usually chuckle and you started the personalization process. Also this allows you to stack all the friendly audience members in the front rows. It's always nice to see friendly faces in the front row.
   
   Remember, when giving a presentation, it's not about your needs or concerns. It's about the audience's needs or concerns. Make it personal and eat the elephant!

6. Nail Your Opening
   It's the first words your audience hears. Know your opening like the back of your hand. Know exactly what you are going to say. Once you get started and gain some momentum you will start to gain confidence for the rest of your speech.
   
   It helps to pause for 3-5 seconds before you are about to start your presentation so that can focus on what you are about to say.

7. Nail Your Ending
   It's the last words your audience hears and reminder about you. You can have a great opening and body and have a bad ending and your audience your always remember how you ended.
   
   Ask your audience to take action, think about an idea, etc. so that they understand why they are there.

8. Backup if You Forget
   If you forget what you are about to say or lose your place in the presentation do the following:
   • Stop speaking. Take two steps backward. Then take a deep breath. Collect your thoughts. Smile. Take two steps forward and proceed with your presentation.
   • Go back and repeat the last sentence. That will help trigger what comes next in your presentation.
   • If you really go blank, ask an audience member what was the last sentence you said. Also, if they have handouts of your speech, you can ask the audience what is the next subject we will discuss. You will be surprised how many people will volunteer this information to help you. This will give you time to collect your thoughts, involve the audience, and go forward with your presentation.
   Note: If you forget a piece of information, collect yourself, and then go forward. Never say, "I'm sorry." Unless the audience has a copy of every single word of your speech they will never know you forgot something.

9. Realize Nervousness is the Tool of Great Presenters
   Believe it or not, all presenters, whether professional or occasional, are nervous when presenting. The difference is the best presenters use nervousness to their advantage by turning nervousness into positive energy. Here are some tips to control nervousness:
   • Whenever possible walk from the back of the room to burn some of the nervous energy.
   • Slow your breathing
   • Stretch

10. Get Excited
    Get excited so that the audience is excited about hearing your presentation.
    
    Some of the ways you can become excited is:
    • Remember what you say is important and can make a difference for your audience.
    • Every opportunity to present is a chance for you to succeed.
    • Every time you speak you become better than the last time.
    • Presenting will expose me to countless opportunities I wouldn’t have by not presenting.

So the next time you have the opportunity to present apply the above techniques. You will have fun while presenting on a whole new level.

Podium or Lectern?

Is he speaking at a podium or a lectern? How many times, especially during this election season, have you heard the following:

Well the answer to the above question is...lectern.

Podium is one of the most misused words in the media and most anywhere else. Time and time again I speak at conferences and the lectern is always called the podium. You saw the debates and since again the newscasters referred to the lectern as a podium.

Now, I too once was one of those people. I thought the lectern was called a podium until a good friend of my, Judy Paschall, explained that I was incorrect.

I since learned that podium, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is "a small platform on which a person may stand to be seen by an audience." Its origin comes from the Greek word podion, which means ‘little foot’. The Cambridge Dictionary states that podium is "a raised area on which a person stands to speak to a large number of people, to conduct music, or to receive a prize in a sports competition."

A lectern, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is "a tall stand with a sloping top from which a speaker can read while standing up." It comes from the Medieval Latin lctrnum, from Late Latin lctrum, from Latin lctus, past participle of legere, which means to read.

So let's take a look at what this gentleman is doing. He is doing the following:

I am sure this bit of knowledge will make a difference in your life. Now you know more than Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Larry King, and all the other media personalities combined.

Click on the "comment" link below and share your thoughts with us.

Ed Sykes is a professional speaker published in the areas of leadership, change management, customer service and teamwork. He works with business and government organizations who want to reach the next level of success and individuals who want to perform at their best. You can email him at esykes@thesykesgrp.com, call him at (757) 427-7032 or visit his Web site at www.thesykesgrp.com.

Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish the following articles and newsletters in its entirety, electronically, or in print free of charge, as long as you include our full signature file at the end of each article for ezines, and my Web site address in hyperlink for other sites. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to info@thesykesgrp.com.

Leave Your “Buts" Behind for World Class Customer Service

How many times have you heard something similar to this in a customer service situation?

Customer: “Why don’t you just do it this way and it will take care of the situation."

Customer Service Person: “I understand what you are saying but we can to do it this way."

Then the situation magically goes downhill from there and it is difficult to win back the customer.

The customer service person used the one word that has a powerful negative effect when dealing with customers. The one word, if you can imagine, brings out the horns on the customer’s forehead, turns his face red, tightens his teeth, and clinches his hands…the word is but.

This is because but is an exclusive word. The use of but negates everything that was said previously by the customer. The customer then feels alienated and disrespected. It says to the customer, “You discounted or ignored everything I just said and you are going on with your agenda. Well, you don’t respect me, so I won’t respect your solution."

Replace the use of but with this powerful, positive word that will make the customer feel like he is are a part of the solution, put a smile on his face, and change the mood to the positive…the word is and. And is an inclusive word. If you think about it, and in math equals the function of addition. The use of and says to your customer, “I value what you just said, and we will take that into consideration as I share my solution with you.”

Remember, 90% of satisfying the customer is making the customer feel like you are listening to them. The use of and says to the customer I am listening to your input.

Lets apply this to the above scenario:

Customer: “Why don’t you just do it this way, and it will take care of the situation.”

Customer Service Person: “I understand what you are saying, and we can to do it this way.”

As you can see it is a more positive response to the customer’s feedback. Instead of the customer being on the opposite side of your solution, by using the word and you create a bridge for the customer to cross to consider your solutions. Bottom line, your customer is more likely to quickly accept your solutions.

So, if possible, record yourself in a conversation so that you can see where you are using >but. Then work at substituting and in place of but. It may feel a little awkward at first. However, the more you use and the smoother it will sound and you will see immediate results. The benefits are less stress for you, positive customer service situations, and happier customers. Remember, leave your "buts" behind and you, too, will provide great customer service.

Click on the "comment" link below and share your thoughts with us.

Want to learn how to provide outstanding customer service? Go to our website at www.thesykesgrp.com for more information. Call us at 757-427-7032 or e-mail us at info@thesykesgrp.com.

Ed Sykes is a professional speaker published in the areas of leadership, change management, customer service and teamwork. He works with business and government organizations who want to reach the next level of success and individuals who want to perform at their best. You can email him at esykes@thesykesgrp.com, call him at (757) 427-7032 or visit his Web site at www.thesykesgrp.com.

Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish the following articles and newsletters in its entirety, electronically, or in print free of charge, as long as you include our full signature file at the end of each article for ezines, and my Web site address in hyperlink for other sites. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to info@thesykesgrp.com.

Customer Service Week News - Great Job Bank of America!

Recently I walked into my Bank of America branch and received my usual upbeat and personal greeting. The teller asked. "How can I serve you today Mr. Sykes?" I then told her about the transaction I wanted to perform and then she said, "It would be my pleasure to serve you today!" Then when she finished completing my transaction she then asked is there anything else, waited for my answer, then said "It was my pleasure to serve you today Mr. Sykes, have a great day!"

Wow! When was the last time you received service like that. I am usually pleased with the level of service that Bank of America gives me. That's why I bank there. The branch manager, Mr. Amos D. Brunson IV, has taken his staff to a higher level. He instituted a "happy praise" contest. As staff members are heard saying happy phrases such as "It would be my pleasure to serve you today," "I'll be happy to do that for you," "thank you for allowing me to help you today," etc., a gold star goes up on a bulletin board that can be seen by customers and employees. His employees receive instant recognition for raising the level of service.

As I stayed and watched, the employees were also having fun thinking of new "happy phrases" to use with their customers. Mr. Brunson also rewarded them in accordance to the number of gold stars they receive.

Great Job to all, and especially Mr. Brunson, for being proactive at taking customer service to another level.

Share your stories of Wow! customer service with us.

Celebrate Customer Service Week